08/22/10
POSH , SPICE, and K2
I recently went to a seminar to learn about the latest drug craze the “kids” are experiencing. Posh, Spice, and K2. These are various names for the same basic products: herbal mixtures laced with synthetic cannabnoids. What surprised me was how much information and research is NOT available.
So, I want to put it out to the internet world. What do you know about posh, spice, K2, and others various names? Please use the comment section of my blog to respond. OR, e-mail me at maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
Be well on your information journey.
Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
I recently went to a seminar to learn about the latest drug craze the “kids” are experiencing. Posh, Spice, and K2. These are various names for the same basic products: herbal mixtures laced with synthetic cannabnoids. What surprised me was how much information and research is NOT available.
So, I want to put it out to the internet world. What do you know about posh, spice, K2, and others various names? Please use the comment section of my blog to respond. OR, e-mail me at maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
Be well on your information journey.
Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
08/19/10
DRUG TESTING: PRE EMPLOYMENT
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My 29 year old son has been off work for almost two years. He is living with us until he finds another job. He did such an excellent job where he previously worked, but was let go because they said he had failed a random drug test. My son is quite honest and admits to drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. He strongly believes marijuana should be legal. He has applied for many positions and has even been offered one of the jobs, but failed the pre-employment drug test. How fair is this that he has the skills he needs, is a good worker, but can’t get a job because he uses marijuana?
Freta
Dear Freta,
This is a bad time in our society to be out of work and idealistic. It is perfectly legal for a company to ask for a pre-employment screening, and, once hired, require cooperation with random alcohol and drug testing.
Drug testing dates back to the 1980’s “war on drugs”. “Drug free” environments was one of the programs that was to combat drugs from “inside”. In 1986, President Ronald Reagan signed into law Executive Order 12564 mandating federal employees to “be drug free on and off the job”. This almost immediately spilled over into the private sector.
Of course, people were outraged that they could be good workers and be fired because of failing a random drug test, and, as it is in our country, law suits were filed based on Fourth and Fourteenth Amendment violations. In 1989, the US Supreme Court upheld the employer’s right to testing employees based on the National Treasury Employee’s Union v. von Rabb. This court has since also ruled that random testing of student athletes and other student participating in non-athletic extracurricular activities is also legal.
The policy of drug testing smoothly transitioned to pre-employment testing. Everyone that applies for a position signs a paper with a disclosure saying that if they are considered for a position, they agree to a pre-employment drug test. Once hire, the new employee also signs an agreement to abide by company and federal laws regarding drug use.
Drug testing also serves a couple practical purposes: reduces the number of qualified applicants in an overloaded job market; and, in some cases, reduces the cost of insurance for the company.
Freta, your son is going to have to make a clearer decision here: stop using marijuana in order to get, and keep, a job to support him and get on with his life. Or, use the time he is off work to campaign to legalize marijuana—which, will not stop either pre-employment or random workplace testing—but, he may feel more productive.
To your son I offer: be clean and sober on your employment journey.
________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My 29 year old son has been off work for almost two years. He is living with us until he finds another job. He did such an excellent job where he previously worked, but was let go because they said he had failed a random drug test. My son is quite honest and admits to drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. He strongly believes marijuana should be legal. He has applied for many positions and has even been offered one of the jobs, but failed the pre-employment drug test. How fair is this that he has the skills he needs, is a good worker, but can’t get a job because he uses marijuana?
Freta
Dear Freta,
This is a bad time in our society to be out of work and idealistic. It is perfectly legal for a company to ask for a pre-employment screening, and, once hired, require cooperation with random alcohol and drug testing.
Drug testing dates back to the 1980’s “war on drugs”. “Drug free” environments was one of the programs that was to combat drugs from “inside”. In 1986, President Ronald Reagan signed into law Executive Order 12564 mandating federal employees to “be drug free on and off the job”. This almost immediately spilled over into the private sector.
Of course, people were outraged that they could be good workers and be fired because of failing a random drug test, and, as it is in our country, law suits were filed based on Fourth and Fourteenth Amendment violations. In 1989, the US Supreme Court upheld the employer’s right to testing employees based on the National Treasury Employee’s Union v. von Rabb. This court has since also ruled that random testing of student athletes and other student participating in non-athletic extracurricular activities is also legal.
The policy of drug testing smoothly transitioned to pre-employment testing. Everyone that applies for a position signs a paper with a disclosure saying that if they are considered for a position, they agree to a pre-employment drug test. Once hire, the new employee also signs an agreement to abide by company and federal laws regarding drug use.
Drug testing also serves a couple practical purposes: reduces the number of qualified applicants in an overloaded job market; and, in some cases, reduces the cost of insurance for the company.
Freta, your son is going to have to make a clearer decision here: stop using marijuana in order to get, and keep, a job to support him and get on with his life. Or, use the time he is off work to campaign to legalize marijuana—which, will not stop either pre-employment or random workplace testing—but, he may feel more productive.
To your son I offer: be clean and sober on your employment journey.
________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
08/18/10
GRIEF REACTION
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My boss is driving me crazy! I work in a complex where a lot of retired people live. My boss not only controls us employees, she also tries to control the residents. Without any input she sets up schedules for them, tells them where to sit to eat, and makes rules up as she goes to suit what she needs. She wasn’t always like this. Her favorite adult child unexpectedly died about two years ago and she hasn’t been the same since then. Both employees and residents have noted this to her superiors, but nothing seems to be done to change the situation. Could this really be a grief reaction?
Lana
Dear Lana,
As adult human beings we understand that we will experience death as part of the human experience. In my grief and loss workshops I start by acknowledging everyone’s loss, adding: “The worse loss anyone can experience is the loss of their child.” Having experienced this myself, and having worked with people that are grieving the loss of a child, I know this to be true.
Commonly we look at five stages of grief attaching different emotions: denial (disbelief, numbness); bargaining (the “ifs”); anger (blaming others); sadness (crying, withdrawal); acceptance (no emotion—just knowing that the death is neither right not wrong, it just was).
People in grief will experience these stages one at a time, sometimes together, and go back and forth with what they feel. Someone can make it to acceptance, be triggered by something (a birthday or anniversary), and start the process all over.
There is no time limit for grieving. Most people need at least a year to come to terms that their loved one isn’t there to share everyday news, celebrate holidays, or just hang out together. The second year can be a sneaker year because you think you went through the worse. But, one morning you wake up and don’t know why you are sad throughout the day; then, you realize it was your loved one’s birthday. You may become sad remembering your loss, wished your loved one was there to celebrate, remember past celebrations, and move to acceptance that they are gone.
Sometimes, people get stuck in the process of grief. For instance, in your boss’ case: she could be stuck in a form of bargaining/denial where she believes she had no control over her when her child died, so she tries to tightly control her own environment and the people in it.
Being stuck in sadness leads to depression which can lead to major depression and other physical illnesses. Grief is paralyzing. It is important for someone that is stuck in the depression of grief to seek professional help from a qualified mental health worker or clergy.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The trick may be to find healthy ways to deal with the devastating pain that accompanies the loss. The gain of getting through the pain is eventually becoming a stronger, wiser human being.
Grief is all part of our experience as spiritual beings have a human experience.
__________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My boss is driving me crazy! I work in a complex where a lot of retired people live. My boss not only controls us employees, she also tries to control the residents. Without any input she sets up schedules for them, tells them where to sit to eat, and makes rules up as she goes to suit what she needs. She wasn’t always like this. Her favorite adult child unexpectedly died about two years ago and she hasn’t been the same since then. Both employees and residents have noted this to her superiors, but nothing seems to be done to change the situation. Could this really be a grief reaction?
Lana
Dear Lana,
As adult human beings we understand that we will experience death as part of the human experience. In my grief and loss workshops I start by acknowledging everyone’s loss, adding: “The worse loss anyone can experience is the loss of their child.” Having experienced this myself, and having worked with people that are grieving the loss of a child, I know this to be true.
Commonly we look at five stages of grief attaching different emotions: denial (disbelief, numbness); bargaining (the “ifs”); anger (blaming others); sadness (crying, withdrawal); acceptance (no emotion—just knowing that the death is neither right not wrong, it just was).
People in grief will experience these stages one at a time, sometimes together, and go back and forth with what they feel. Someone can make it to acceptance, be triggered by something (a birthday or anniversary), and start the process all over.
There is no time limit for grieving. Most people need at least a year to come to terms that their loved one isn’t there to share everyday news, celebrate holidays, or just hang out together. The second year can be a sneaker year because you think you went through the worse. But, one morning you wake up and don’t know why you are sad throughout the day; then, you realize it was your loved one’s birthday. You may become sad remembering your loss, wished your loved one was there to celebrate, remember past celebrations, and move to acceptance that they are gone.
Sometimes, people get stuck in the process of grief. For instance, in your boss’ case: she could be stuck in a form of bargaining/denial where she believes she had no control over her when her child died, so she tries to tightly control her own environment and the people in it.
Being stuck in sadness leads to depression which can lead to major depression and other physical illnesses. Grief is paralyzing. It is important for someone that is stuck in the depression of grief to seek professional help from a qualified mental health worker or clergy.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The trick may be to find healthy ways to deal with the devastating pain that accompanies the loss. The gain of getting through the pain is eventually becoming a stronger, wiser human being.
Grief is all part of our experience as spiritual beings have a human experience.
__________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
08/13/10
ADDICT THINKING
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My husband has been clean and sober for over five years. He recently did something very strange: he stole money from our daughter’s bank, then denied it when I asked him about it. I found the money (mostly change) in a plastic bag in his truck. We have money in our joint account if he really needed it. It doesn’t appear he is drinking again. Is he going to relapse?
Tina
Dear Tina,
Assuming that your husband is not presently prone to stealing, your husband could be experiencing what is sometimes referred to as a “dry drunk”.
A “dry drunk” means that one of two things could be going on with him: he is abstaining, but has not done any work on changing his thinking; or, he has been abstaining, but is on his way to relapse.
Just because someone is abstaining from alcohol and/or drugs doesn’t mean they are in total recovery. During the course of using an active addict steps into the culture of addiction, which means learning a new way of thinking. The addict develops thinking errors that protect their drinking/drug use, and, allows them to justify going against their own value system. These thinking errors are a form of denial, as the addiction progresses so does their denial, affecting their judgments.
Thinking errors don’t just disappear with abstinence. In order to change thinking errors someone needs to become aware of the error, than, make an assertive and conscious commitment to change the way they think and behave.
Some thinking errors are obvious; like, your husband stealing money. Other thinking errors are subtle: minimizing, being vague, anger, drama, intellectualizing, image, grandiosity—listen and watch closely.
One of the thinking errors love ones have is that once someone is in “sobriety”, they relax and stop listening. Remember when you didn’t believe a thing your husband said because you knew he was an active addict? If you listen carefully, even while he is doing his best , you can still pick up remnants of blaming, lying, and making excuses—IF, you listen closely without your own blinders on.
The other thing that can be going on is that he is on his way to relapse. Relapse doesn’t just happen. Relapse is a long slow process. It begins with old thoughts, connecting to old behaviors, and leading to using again.
Tina, this isn’t the time to be walking on eggshells. If you notice a change in your husband’s attitudes, feelings, and/or behaviors, call him on it. These are the changes that very gradually lead to the final step of relapse—picking up a drink or using a drug.
This is the time for good communication.
On this part of your husband’s journey, you may have to step up and be his guide. May you both be well on your journeys.
___________________________________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My husband has been clean and sober for over five years. He recently did something very strange: he stole money from our daughter’s bank, then denied it when I asked him about it. I found the money (mostly change) in a plastic bag in his truck. We have money in our joint account if he really needed it. It doesn’t appear he is drinking again. Is he going to relapse?
Tina
Dear Tina,
Assuming that your husband is not presently prone to stealing, your husband could be experiencing what is sometimes referred to as a “dry drunk”.
A “dry drunk” means that one of two things could be going on with him: he is abstaining, but has not done any work on changing his thinking; or, he has been abstaining, but is on his way to relapse.
Just because someone is abstaining from alcohol and/or drugs doesn’t mean they are in total recovery. During the course of using an active addict steps into the culture of addiction, which means learning a new way of thinking. The addict develops thinking errors that protect their drinking/drug use, and, allows them to justify going against their own value system. These thinking errors are a form of denial, as the addiction progresses so does their denial, affecting their judgments.
Thinking errors don’t just disappear with abstinence. In order to change thinking errors someone needs to become aware of the error, than, make an assertive and conscious commitment to change the way they think and behave.
Some thinking errors are obvious; like, your husband stealing money. Other thinking errors are subtle: minimizing, being vague, anger, drama, intellectualizing, image, grandiosity—listen and watch closely.
One of the thinking errors love ones have is that once someone is in “sobriety”, they relax and stop listening. Remember when you didn’t believe a thing your husband said because you knew he was an active addict? If you listen carefully, even while he is doing his best , you can still pick up remnants of blaming, lying, and making excuses—IF, you listen closely without your own blinders on.
The other thing that can be going on is that he is on his way to relapse. Relapse doesn’t just happen. Relapse is a long slow process. It begins with old thoughts, connecting to old behaviors, and leading to using again.
Tina, this isn’t the time to be walking on eggshells. If you notice a change in your husband’s attitudes, feelings, and/or behaviors, call him on it. These are the changes that very gradually lead to the final step of relapse—picking up a drink or using a drug.
This is the time for good communication.
On this part of your husband’s journey, you may have to step up and be his guide. May you both be well on your journeys.
___________________________________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
07/24/10
ADDICTION: ALCOHOL AT SOCIAL GATHERINGS
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I am planning to serve alcohol at a social gathering I will be hosting. I have friends that are in recovery, some just since the New Year, and I am wondering how they will do attending this gathering. I don’t want to be the one that makes them fall off the wagon. How do I handle this?
Shena
Dear Shena,
I will speculate that many people have asked themselves this question at one time if they know a recovering person. Do I serve wine with dinner?
The reality is that you are not responsible if someone decides to drink or not. One of the behaviors recovering people work on is assuming the responsibility of their behaviors—including whether or not they choose to drink.
In the Big Book of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, Fourth Edition, page 101, it is explained that if you are helping someone with their recovery that AA has a belief that “any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure”.
The explanation goes on in the next paragraph to say “So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties.”
The responsibility for your friends making a decision to both attend your “whoopee” party or not, and to decide whether they are going to use or not while they are there, is strictly their business.
Here are just five strategies alcoholics can use if they choose to go to places that serve alcohol:
1.Be sure you are physically and mentally prepared to attend an alcohol function: check your HALT: are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? If you are nervous in any way about going, you probably want to find something else to do.
2.If you decide to attend be sure to have an exit plan in case you get uncomfortable. If you go with someone, have a phone number of someone you can trust, and, who understands your situation, to come and pick you up.
3.When you arrive, it really isn’t necessary to announce “I’m an alcoholic and I am in recovery.” It you need to say anything about not drinking alcohol, volunteer to be a designated driver for the evening.
4.Always know what is in your glass. Be safe, never accept a drink from someone, pour your own beverages. If you set your glass down and walk away, get a new drink.
5.Never be afraid to leave the party early. Probably if most people are getting a bit too high spirited, leave. Measure your comfort level throughout the evening.
You, of course, need to own your behaviors to be a responsible part host. Here are a few tips to accomplish that:
1.In your planning, be sure to include a nice variety of non-alcoholic drinks. Orange juice, tea, carbonated beverages, coffee, are some drinks you might consider. You can consider hiring a professional server who is experienced at monitoring intake of alcohol. This also relieves you from keeping an eye on the alcohol all night.
2.For those folks that you know don’t drink, reassure them that they can still have fun. Never force someone to “have a drink” if they don’t want one; they may be one of your friends that you didn’t know quit drinking.
3.Serve high-protein foods that stay in the stomach for a longtime. While this does not effect the pace the alcohol leaves the system, these types of foods will slow down the digestive process of the alcohol.
4.In the planning process include entertainment that includes participation which will slow down the consumption of alcohol. Even if people just choose to watch and not participate, drinking is usually slowed down.
5.Don’t let people drink and drive. Make sure that your guests know how you feel about drinking and driving. Identify designated drivers (DDs) as your guests arrive; don’t be afraid to ask for volunteers to be DDs as guests arrive.. Stop serving alcohol two hours before the party is over, but continue serving food and non-alcoholic beverages. Have the phone numbers ready for local cab companies.
So you see, Shena, having a successful party that involves alcohol is really a matter of everyone accepting their responsibility and being accountable for their own behavior.
Be well on your journey, and have a swell time at your party.
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I am planning to serve alcohol at a social gathering I will be hosting. I have friends that are in recovery, some just since the New Year, and I am wondering how they will do attending this gathering. I don’t want to be the one that makes them fall off the wagon. How do I handle this?
Shena
Dear Shena,
I will speculate that many people have asked themselves this question at one time if they know a recovering person. Do I serve wine with dinner?
The reality is that you are not responsible if someone decides to drink or not. One of the behaviors recovering people work on is assuming the responsibility of their behaviors—including whether or not they choose to drink.
In the Big Book of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, Fourth Edition, page 101, it is explained that if you are helping someone with their recovery that AA has a belief that “any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure”.
The explanation goes on in the next paragraph to say “So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties.”
The responsibility for your friends making a decision to both attend your “whoopee” party or not, and to decide whether they are going to use or not while they are there, is strictly their business.
Here are just five strategies alcoholics can use if they choose to go to places that serve alcohol:
1.Be sure you are physically and mentally prepared to attend an alcohol function: check your HALT: are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? If you are nervous in any way about going, you probably want to find something else to do.
2.If you decide to attend be sure to have an exit plan in case you get uncomfortable. If you go with someone, have a phone number of someone you can trust, and, who understands your situation, to come and pick you up.
3.When you arrive, it really isn’t necessary to announce “I’m an alcoholic and I am in recovery.” It you need to say anything about not drinking alcohol, volunteer to be a designated driver for the evening.
4.Always know what is in your glass. Be safe, never accept a drink from someone, pour your own beverages. If you set your glass down and walk away, get a new drink.
5.Never be afraid to leave the party early. Probably if most people are getting a bit too high spirited, leave. Measure your comfort level throughout the evening.
You, of course, need to own your behaviors to be a responsible part host. Here are a few tips to accomplish that:
1.In your planning, be sure to include a nice variety of non-alcoholic drinks. Orange juice, tea, carbonated beverages, coffee, are some drinks you might consider. You can consider hiring a professional server who is experienced at monitoring intake of alcohol. This also relieves you from keeping an eye on the alcohol all night.
2.For those folks that you know don’t drink, reassure them that they can still have fun. Never force someone to “have a drink” if they don’t want one; they may be one of your friends that you didn’t know quit drinking.
3.Serve high-protein foods that stay in the stomach for a longtime. While this does not effect the pace the alcohol leaves the system, these types of foods will slow down the digestive process of the alcohol.
4.In the planning process include entertainment that includes participation which will slow down the consumption of alcohol. Even if people just choose to watch and not participate, drinking is usually slowed down.
5.Don’t let people drink and drive. Make sure that your guests know how you feel about drinking and driving. Identify designated drivers (DDs) as your guests arrive; don’t be afraid to ask for volunteers to be DDs as guests arrive.. Stop serving alcohol two hours before the party is over, but continue serving food and non-alcoholic beverages. Have the phone numbers ready for local cab companies.
So you see, Shena, having a successful party that involves alcohol is really a matter of everyone accepting their responsibility and being accountable for their own behavior.
Be well on your journey, and have a swell time at your party.
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
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